A Kiss For a Cure Page 8

  “I can’t believe I acted like that. You needed me to help you, and I–I did that.”

  He tightened his hold on her. “That’s what I needed. You have to remember I’m not human, Jor.”

  “I know that, but…”

  “Is there another solution?”

  Jordan paused. He could see her brain jumping tracks, the emotional, feminine side shutting down in favor of her scientific side. After a moment she shook her head. “No. It’s going to have to run its course.”

  He could salvage their relationship. Jordan cared, which was a step better than where they’d been when she just wanted to get rid of him as fast as possible. Threading his fingers together at the small of her back, he tugged her closer still.

  “Come here. Touching you helps.”

  The unit clattered on the counter, and her arms curled around his shoulders. “Better?”

  She was so innocent, so genuinely concerned for him. “Yes.”

  “You’re playing me.” Jordan smacked his arm, but there wasn’t any real anger there.

  “A little, yes. But, I want to touch you.” He wanted to still be skin on skin. “How about we try having dinner again?”

  She looked at the table and pouted. “It’s cold now.”

  “We can reheat it. Can you do that? I don’t think I have the energy to right now.” If it weren’t for the barstool, Cai was a little worried he’d be sitting on the floor.

  She pressed her hand to his forehead. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “With you? Never better.”

  “I’m being serious. I think you need to go back to bed.”

  Cai bit the inside of his cheek. Was the woman trying to hand him every opportunity? Or was she that blind? “Dinner in bed.” He allowed himself a small smile. “I like that idea.”

  Before she could protest or sputter out something, he pressed a kiss to her lips. It wasn’t a tactic that would work for long with a woman as smart as Jordan, but for now his kisses still threw her off and he’d take full advantage of that.

  “I’ll get dinner and be right there.” She backed away from him. Was the prospect of being back in bed with him that bad?

  Cai tucked the Yule log under his arm and shuffled back into the bedroom.

  * * * *

  Jordan took a deep breath and breezed into her bedroom, like she always entertained men there. She’d never been more out of her depth than she was with Cai.

  She stopped at the door. Flames rose from the Yule Log, contained by an invisible barrier. She took a few steps closer, unable to tear her gaze away from the unnatural iridescent flames. Unlike carbon fire, this was a heatless, slow-burning kind of flame, if it could even be called that.

  Arms circled around from behind her to grasp the dishes in her hands. Cai pressed a kiss behind her ear.

  “Happy holidays,” he whispered.

  The earthy scent of the log was sharper, spicier now. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been able to enjoy a fire burning. Her heart ached and swelled at the same time. Cai did this for her.

  He took the dishes from her and retreated to the bed.

  “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “I know. But everyone should celebrate the holidays. I think you forgot how.” He sat down and patted the empty space next to him. “Come and eat.”

  She couldn’t get the memories of sex, in her bed, out of her mind. She steeled her nerves and crawled in next to him. He sat with his back to the headboard, watching a school of fish beyond the glass.

  She mirrored his pose and accepted the plate he offered her. She stabbed the food with the fork and popped it in her mouth.

  “Oh my God,” Jordan moaned around the first bite. “I made this?” She turned to Cai, who smiled at her.

  “My compliments to the chef.” He saluted her with his fork.

  All her awkwardness evaporated. Cai turned the random ingredients into something amazing, and he’d let her help. She ate every bit on her plate, and ignored Cai’s good-natured jabs at her enthusiasm.

  Before she slipped into a food coma, she grabbed his empty plate. “I’ll be right back.”

  He nodded and reclined on the bed. Dark circles formed under his eyes. No small wonder. She’d tried to kill him. Guilt gnawed at her, tainting what they’d experienced together. She stared at her reflection in the steel cabinets and gathered her thoughts before returning to bed.

  “How are you feeling?” she asked.

  “Tired. Sluggish. Like before.”

  Jordan took his arm and let the scanner do its work.

  “Your numbers are still low,” she said. Her shoulders slumped and she rubbed her face. “What did I do wrong?”

  “I think I was feeding back on myself.” He turned toward her and touched her hand. She offered her palm and allowed him to thread their fingers together. “When we had sex, you trumped what I was sending. I can’t read you now.”

  Her cheeks burned.

  “What were you feeling when you kissed me?” Cai’s voice was low, almost sexy.

  “I didn’t want you to die. I wanted you to live.”

  “Has that changed?”

  “No.”

  “Come here.” He extended his arm to her. It seemed the most natural thing to want to go to him, to hold him and be with him.

  She allowed him to pull her down to lie on top of him. With her cheek pillowed on his shoulder, she could feel the sluggish beat of his heart. She flattened her hands against his ribs.

  “I’ll be okay. Keep willing me to live.” His lips brushed her forehead in a tender gesture.

  Somehow, Cai grew to matter. He’d gone from being a complication, to someone she cared about. It was ridiculous to think of him as anything but a blip in her life, but she knew he would always matter to her–even when he left to live his own life. If she could come up with a cure, he could go anywhere, do anything. But if she didn’t, he’d need to find a wife.

  She gripped him instinctively. She didn’t want another woman to hold him, to lie against him the way she did now. It was silly. Of course there would be other women after her, not that she was much to follow. Cai didn’t want to stay with her. She was merely the solution to his problem at the time. Wasn’t she?

  Could he sense the turmoil in her? No, he’d said he couldn’t, not with the serum she’d given him. But his hands smoothed down her back, wrinkling her shirt. He plucked at the hem, pulling it down.

  He’d touched her before, bare skin to skin, and she’d loved it.

  “I know you said you couldn’t get anything from the feedback, but has it changed?” She stared at the Yule log, the glimmering flames rising in a silent dance. It would burn for hours, and already she wished her quarters would smell this way all the time.

  “No. I know you’re there, I can sense you, but it’s more like being in a dark room, and knowing you’re not alone. You shine so brightly that this is strange. You’ll do better with the next serum, but maybe we should test less, hmm?”

  “Is that even a good idea? I almost killed you.” A chill swept through her.

  Cai flicked the blanket over them, pulling it up to her shoulders. “I have faith in you.”

  She was glad he did, because right then, she didn’t have faith in herself.

  Chapter 9

  Cai hugged Jordan closer, still clinging to the last vestiges of sleep. He’d had a restless night. Every few hours he’d woken up to a little more sensation from his pur, and finally he was himself again. It’d been a close call. The panic he’d felt after arriving had nothing on last night. He’d glimpsed death, and come back again. He sighed, reveling in the sensations reverberating from Jordan, the utter contentment she felt. Holding her while she slept was precious. How had he ever considered betraying her?

  The Yule log burned a quarter of the way. At this rate it would last through Christmas. Hopefully he would be here that long.

  He could sense Jordan’s consciousness rising, the way she woke in small i
ncrements. He tucked her a little closer and savored it.

  She stretched her legs, her toes scraping his shin and sucked in a sudden breath.

  After a moment of holding perfectly still, her body relaxed, and she nuzzled his chest. Her breath against his bare skin was warm as she sighed. Her hand flattened against his ribs.

  His cock stirred, and Cai couldn’t blame his reaction. He wanted her again. Unlike his previous partners, with her it wasn’t about the feedback or scratching an itch. It was about her and the connection that flared up between them. It was a thin strand that bound them because they were right for one another.

  “You’re awake,” she mumbled.

  He sighed and allowed his hands to rub the small of her back. “Maybe.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “Do you have the lab booked today?” Not that he wanted to leave the warm cocoon, but science was important to her.

  “In a little bit.” She propped herself up on her side, breaking most of their contact. “How are you feeling?”

  “Back to my usual self. No harm done.” He smiled at her, but instead of the relief he expected, she chewed her lip and gazed past him. Her brows were drawn down and her cheeks sunken in. He palmed the dip in her waist. He could have sighed with relief at the rush of feedback. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it even for a few hours.

  “What do you see when you do that?” Her voice was quiet, but he could taste her curiosity and a touch of shyness.

  He opened his eyes. Since she didn’t protest to his touch, he slid his palm around to the small of her back and pulled her close.

  “Right now? You want to understand what I sense. I think you might be a tad bit jealous of me. You don’t try to hide your emotions from me, though. Why is that?”

  She blinked. “It never occurred to me it was an option. Is it?”

  “No, but most people do try to suppress them. I can sense that.”

  “But you can’t really help that you can sense all of it, can you?”

  “No.”

  “Then I don’t see a point in hiding anything. I can’t always help how I feel. When I first met you, it did alarm me, but I’ve gotten to know you. You own your feelings. It’s different, and a little strange to me, but it’s okay.”

  He smiled and angled his hips away from her. While sex was the natural progression in his mind, he doubted Jordan was willing.

  “I’m going to grab a shower, then we can go to the lab.” She tugged her shirt down before she got out of bed.

  * * * *

  Jordan tried to not beat the eggs into a pulp. Behind her, Cai laughed and leaned against her. He didn’t startle her, she’d known he was there, but she still experienced a rush at the hot press of his body.

  “Like this.” He put his hand over hers and guided the whisk.

  “That’s what I was doing,” she said, trying to not clench her teeth.

  “Now you’re doing it better.” He buzzed her cheek with a quick kiss and moved back.

  She appreciated the space. It was impossible to not be attracted to him, to feel special with the attention he lavished on her. Her ability to separate reality from fiction disintegrated. She knew sex was a means to an enjoyable end for him. She didn’t think he intended to encourage permanent ideas in her. Their relationship was transitory, and would end when he moved on. Yet, when he did sweet things like teaching her how to make quiche, she couldn’t keep her heart and head straight.

  “What do you say we decorate the tree while this cooks?” Cai laid out the pan and the missing ingredients.

  She glanced at the room, taking in the changes he’d made. Lights hung against the glass, drawing the attention of the curious reef inhabitants. A wreath decorated each door; little bunches of mistletoe dangled from the ceiling alongside ornaments and a few presents. The Yule log had been moved to the middle of her living room. It was festive. And yet, a tree would complete the cozy decor.

  Secretly, an inner part of her wept with joy. Her own holiday. Where no one could tell her she wasn’t wanted or welcome, because it was hers. And Cai’s. Though she’d meant to see him on his way as soon as possible, she wanted him to stay with her at least through the holiday, but he couldn’t do that. The longer he stayed, the more greedy she became. She couldn’t fight her biology, the bonding hormones were in her system. Sexual contact of any kind strengthened it, so the more they touched, the more she needed to send him away.

  “That would be nice,” she said at last.

  They got the quiche in the CU, and Cai began pulling out several plastos from a stack in the corner. She hadn’t paid them any attention since she’d expected them to be her things. Instead, he opened them, revealing the pieces to an almost seven foot tree and ornaments, lights and tinsel. She knelt next to the box and touched a delicate snowflake with wonder.

  “I wasn’t allowed to decorate.” She glanced at him. “It was the servant’s job. Can you believe I’ve never put up a Christmas tree?”

  His hand closed over hers. “Then I can show you how it’s done. I promise I have lots of practice.”

  She didn’t doubt he could sense how special this was for her. Maybe he understood. And she was okay with that. He accepted her and her emotions. Nothing she felt was ever wrong.

  The tree was an old-fashioned one, instead of the currently popular holotrees. Cai showed her how all of the pieces fit together. They strung lights, passing the reel to one another around the tree.

  “This is a surprise.” He took her hands and pulled her to his side of the tree.

  “A surprise?”

  Strands of hair clung to the side of his face and goofy grin. “Close your eyes.”

  She sighed and did as he asked. “Fine.”

  His footsteps padded away from her. She could hear him rummaging through the plastos in the corner. The scrape of something across the floor, and Cai grunting. His steps were slower coming back to her. She tilted her head toward him.

  “What are you doing?” she finally asked.

  “Hold on,” he replied, his voice laughing at her.

  She wanted to open her eyes. It would be easy to open them and see what it was he was hiding from her.

  He chuckled, and she could feel the heat from his body almost brush hers. “No peeking.”

  “Can you sense me?”

  Cai didn’t reply at once. “Yes, a little.”

  She held her hands out, but they passed through the empty air. “We aren’t even touching. That’s amazing. I still can’t get over it.”

  “It doesn’t upset you?” he asked.

  “No.” She started as he cupped her face. “No, don’t open your eyes yet. We’re unique, you and I. Not everyone finds someone with whom they connect the way we do.”

  She opened her eyes. They had a connection? Something special?

  “I didn’t tell you to open your eyes yet. I’ve been working on them when you weren’t looking.” Cai ducked to a plasto at their feet and picked up a small object. He offered it to her.

  “Oh my, how did you make these?” She gingerly took the glass shark ornament from him and held it with only her fingertips. A blacktip shark. He handed her another, a lemon shark.

  “There’re eight different kinds. Blain helped me raid the gift shop for all the shark souvenirs.” Cai knelt next to the plasto and showed her the others. “I got some other ornaments, mostly in blues and golds. It’s not a traditional tree, but I thought you’d like it.”

  She struggled to breathe around the lump in her throat. He stood and cradled her face again. She leaned against him, nuzzling his chest as his arms wrapped around her. She was happy and sad and touched by his thoughtfulness.

  “Don’t cry,” he mumbled into her hair.

  “I’m not.” She pulled back, dabbing at her eyes. “I’m just… I don’t know what to say. Thank you seems not enough.”

  His fingers fanned across her collarbone. “I know. I can tell, remember?”

  She wanted to kiss him. S
he could tell the moment Cai sensed her urge. His eyes widened, then narrowed. He cupped the back of her head and Jordan tipped onto her toes to offer him her mouth.

  She wasn’t a Galairian, but she could feel their connection. It had to be her hormones. She hadn’t had sex in such a long time, maybe she could blame it on that. But it was more than sex, she was smart enough to know her mind. Her noble parentage made her a pariah in normal social circles. Dating wasn’t easy. Living in close quarters with Cai, the kissing and sleeping together knocked her off balance. She was with someone who understood her and they shared something beautiful, if momentary.

  * * * *

  A shrill alarm cut through the rising sexual haze. Cai willed the sound to go away. Jordan was thirty seconds from climbing him like a trapeze.

  She dropped to her heels, one hand still clutching his arm while the other cradled the delicate glass ornaments. Her lips parted and her gaze unfocused. Despite the underlying hunger, there was panic there that ruined it for him.

  “Lunch,” he said, mustering a smile when all he wanted to do was carry her into the bedroom and strip her down. “I’ve got it.”

  She turned back to the tree. He pulled the quiche out of the CU and got plates. She carefully placed the ornaments on the tree, checking that each was secure before she let it go. Whatever happened, he was glad he’d given her this.

  She pulled herself together so that when he brought her food she could think. He helped her finish decorating, and they sat back to enjoy lunch in the glow of the beautiful tree. He encouraged her to continue talking about mundane things to keep her from bringing up the impending trip to the lab. He didn’t want this cure, he didn’t want her to have a reason to cut him loose, and he certainly didn’t want to talk about it.

  Jordan checked the time. “We should go. I have the lab reserved for the next two hours. I don’t want to leave anything to chance this time. I want to be able to track the results.”

  Cai took their plates back to the kitchen and tidied up, dragging his feet.

  “You okay?”

  He twined their fingers together. “Yeah.” She was worried and anxious. But why? Did she want rid of him that badly?